Transformer

For some folks, the '80s were about enjoying the work of Michael Jackson unironically; extolling the virtues of greed; and wearing clothes that they must have known would look ridiculous in a week's time. For me, and many others born in that glorious decade, the '80s was about giant robots.

Which, of course, led me to extoll the virtues of greed in order to convince my parents to buy the toys, and probably licenced clothing that looked ridiculous. I didn't learn to unironically enjoy the work of Mr Jackson until about five years ago.

There's not much point in taking an overly analytical approach to this movie, made after the first two seasons of the hit TV show. There's no deeper meanings, themes or subtexts that bear drawing out here. Well, that isn't entirely true- you could argue that the movie is about the manifest destiny of good's triumph over evil, a point hammered home by Unicron's last words (he was voiced by Orson Welles, who has a way with that sort of thing)- but it isn't really worth the effort, and considering that the theme song famously tells us of the Autobot's imminent victory over the evil Decepticons, it's hardly a subtext.

The Transformers was a great introduction to sci-fi for a kid. It's not the show's fault that the geekier among us never truly let go and moved onto more sophisticated fare. Surely, most of the concepts had been done before, but it was the first time that I encountered planets entirely populated by robots, and, for that matter, a robot capable of transforming into and devouring planets. Among many, many other cool things. God, the Transformers rocked.

And rock, the movie did indeed. There's barely a frame that isn't backed by garish arena rock or overblown synths, as if the film makers were keenly aware that they were making a time capsule for their decade. Vince DiCola's score is firmly imprinted on my brain, to the point where virtually all of his music cues in this film have some sort of meaning for me. Stan Bush (whoever that is) contributed two hilariously bad tracks- Dare and Touch- and I have it on good authority that he still performs them regularly to packed crowds of Transformers Convention-goers. And if I don't have Lion's "rock" version of the Transformers theme on my iPod by the end of the week, I won't be a happy man.

Watching the film 20 years on from its release, it's clear that it was basically just a cynical marketing ploy to sell a bunch of new toys. Hell, a part of me remembers thinking that when I first saw it. But I'll be damned if they didn't do a great job of wringing every last ounce of action and drama out of the changeover to a new generation of Transformers. I suspect that for many people my age or slightly older, the blackened body of Optimus Prime (or, for that matter, all the other Autobots who died before him less famously) served as their version of Bambi's mother, and the transition from Megatron to Galvatron was quite stylish.

Honestly, has there ever been a cooler fight scene than Optimus Prime versus Megatron in 'Transformers: The Movie'? I mean, come on! The two main characters from the TV show get irrepairably fucked up within the opening half hour of the movie! "One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!" I love it! I swear to God, I had the entire dialogue and choreography of that sequence at my instant mental disposal by the time I was four, tops.

Don't take my word (or your memory) for it, watch it for yourself:

And the fact that, upon taking control of the Matrix of Leadership, Hot Rod's name actually changed from Hot Rod to Roddimus Prime, is AWESOME. It sounds like a jokey nickname (like Azbats) that people on an internet message board might have given him 10 years after the fact, not something that the actual writers of the film would come up with.

I'd love to get nostalgic and say that they don't make films like this anymore, but that's probably not true. The 'kids these days' will probably look back on Spongebob Squarepants and Harry Potter and whatever with the exact same fondness with which I recall the one, the only, 'Transformers: The Movie'... but with the new, live-action movie (which is going to suck: there, I said it) due to hit our screens next year, I get the feeling I won't be the only one getting nostalgic.

And now, as a reward for reading down this far, a treasure trove of YouTube Transformers goodies.

First up, the announcement trailer for the new movie:

The classic intro to the first season of the TV show:

The intro to the second season of the show:

The intro to the third season of the show (the first post-movie, and by far my personal favourite intro):

The intro to the short-lived fourth season:

The intro to 'Transformers 2010', the Japanese version of Transformers Series 3.

A Japanese live-action trailer for 'Transformers 2010':

The intro to 'Transformers: Beast Wars':

I'm not really sure which order the latest series' go in, having never actually watched them, but here's the intro for 'Transformers: Armada':

'Transformers: Energon':

And, finally, what I believe to be the newest series- not too sure about that, but the intro's a lot better than the last two- 'Transformers: Cybertron':