You Know What's Awesome?

The fact that The Globe Cinema showed Tim Burton's 'Batman' today. Fuck yeah!

The bill actually advertised a double feature of 'Batman Begins' and 'Batman', but for some reason 'Begins' could not be shown, and so it was straight into 'Batman'! Considering I'd watched 'Begins' on DVD literally the day before, and it's absence made for cheaper tickets, I would consider that a comprehensive victory.

Let's get this straight at the outset: chalk it up to nostalgia or bizarre personal preference or whatever, but I realised as I was watching this classic on the big screen that, honest to God, this is my favourite film of all time. You know how when something's always been around, you forget to appreciate it? That must have been what I was doing when I gave 'favourite of all time' status to 'Superman Returns' and 'Spiderman 2', because 'Batman' would win a brawl in a cinematic dark alley with either of them.

From the time the opening credits start rolling, you know you're in for something special. Danny Eflman's opening theme rivals any of John Williams' best efforts, and sets the tone beautifully for the pop dark deco that Burton unleashes onto the screen. Seeing it again in a darkened cinema, I wondered what it must have felt like to have been an audience member in 1989 who only knew Batman from the Adam West TV show or the Superfriends cartoons. It must have been an eye-opening experience, to say the least.

This truly is a dark film, particularly for a Hollywood blockbuster. There seems to have been a time in the 1980s, a time certainly not as well documented as the iconoclastic early-to-mid 1970s, where 'family' films were really allowed to get their hands dirty in a decidely Grimm Brothers sort of way. I'm not sure you could make a 'Batman', a 'Gremlins' or even a 'Robocop' now... studio films have become entirely too sanitised, as sweeping a statement as that is. Of course, the entire premise of Batman and the Joker's rivalry can be seen as a sort of metacommentary on this very topic: the bright and cheery Joker is actually a dangerous maniac, and the dark and brooding Batman is actually a courageous hero. Be careful what you wish for...

The dark world that the characters of 'Batman' inhabit is perfectly realised by Anton Furst, of course. Undeniably, this film is a masterpiece of set design, and the fact that the Gotham of 'Batman Begins' looks so pedestrian by comparison says a lot about the homogenity of modern Hollywood. Certainly, 'Begins' takes place in a more 'realistic' world, but seriously, where's the fun in that?

Speaking of 'Begins' vs Burton... I'm not going to reignite the great Keaton/Bale debate. Keaton is damn impressive here, and we'll leave it at that!

Ultimately, Burton's film works better for me than Nolan's because it is a complete filmic experience. Burton took the basic elements of Kane and Finger's early work on the character and adapted them fairly accurately, but ultimately (probably because he doesn't read comics himself) Burton came at the material with a fresh enough perspective to create an immersive, stand-alone world with a complete operatic story as its centrepiece. In Burton's film, of course the Joker killed Batman's parents, because that's how it would work in an opera. This isn't a film with an eye towards sequels, or mundane believability, this is a film that aims to tell a tragic fairytale with a beginning, a middle and an ending, and it works on every level.

Likewise, unlike Nolan's film, Burton's 'Batman' opeates on these levels without beating you over the head with its themes. 'Begins' is often praised for being a more 'intelligent' film, but you know what? That's just because people are lazy. 'Begins' practically screams at you, "THIS IS A FILM ABOUT FEAR AND JUSTICE AND THE POWER OF MYTHS!", and while it is impressive in the way that all the elements of its larger story feed back into those themes, they are painfully well-telegraphed. 'Batman', on the other hand, deals subtextually with duality in a masterful fashion that informs every aspect of the film without drawing too much attention to itself. Chalk up another victory for Burton.

Anyway, none of this means anything, because growing up with Burton's film kinda willfully blinds me to its flaws, and I actually like 'Begins' a lot. It was just very cool of the Globe to show Burton's film on the big screen, so I'm on a total Burton high right now. I just wish so many goddamn emo kids didn't feel the same way... this must be what it was like to be a Bowie fan who had no interest in glam, or something. Regardless, I've had a pretty perfect day, and what better way to top it off than rambling about an old favourite?

New Hotness

So, yes. A buncha reviews yesterday, since I haven't posted anything for awhile. A couple of latecomers in there- '16 Blocks' and 'Half Light' came out in America ages ago, we're only just getting them in Australia this week.

The big news in movies today, I suppose, is the alleged casting of Heath Ledger as the Joker. Seriously. Yes, I realise a thousand people have been 'cast' as the Joker in the 'Batman Begins' sequel by now, but this one is (supposedly) for real, and I can really see it working. It's a ballsy choice that fanboys are already objecting to, but I think they're going to be pleasantly surprised. Shades of Keaton, really.

Aside from movies, I've read a couple of really good comics in the last few weeks.

First off, Detective Comics #821, from the new writer/artist team of Paul Dini and J.H. Williams III... yes. THIS is what Batman comics are all about. A complete story, with genuine detective work, solid action and perfect characterisation. A fucking horrible trend in comics since at least the 90's is to introduce a new villain, build them up to be the greatest thing ever, and then spend months if not years teasing out the mystery of their identity and motivations, as our hero strives incompetently to stop them and readers just stop caring.
Dini says: no. In one issue, you see the brand new villain introduced and defeated, with his identity and motivations laid bare. And, because it only took one issue, I'm not sick of him yet, either.

Really, Dini nails it on the first page... it doesn't work so well without Williams' brilliant panel layout, but just this one piece of narration had me freaking out and putting Danny Elfman's 'Batman' theme on repeat on my ipod:
"I hear the soft gurgle of pleasure in the mugger's throat.

I'll turn it into a scream."

Please, Mr. Dini, please, stay on 'Detective Comics' forever.

I enjoyed Kurt Busiek's work on Superman #654 very much, as well. Busiek remembers that Clark is a journalist, damn it, and actually works that into the story. As a journalism student, I was thrilled that Superman has to go to press conferences about city planning, education and retiring judges, even if he was 'multi-tasking' at the time. Kurt makes the Clark/Lois marriage work as well. Not as good as Dini on 'Tec, and not even close to Morrison on All-Star, but I can tell Busiek's run is going to be something I look forward to on a monthly basis.

Finally, Justice League Unlimited #23 was great as well. Yes, it's based on a cartoon. Honestly, that just adds to the charm of it. JLU basically takes every DC character ever, and tells fun, done-in-one stories about them. This issue uses a typical heist by the Royal Flush Gang to tell a story about the common-place nature of heroism, and it hits all the right notes.

I couldn't recommend it any higher, even if it willfully doesn't fall into the "comics aren't for kids anymore! We're sophisticated, and tell grim and gritty stories about men in capes who can fly and see through walls!" line of thinking. Actually, I love it because it doesn't fall into that line of thinking.

Coming up here soon, or at least, you know, within the next two weeks-- a review of the fantastic new Aussie movie 'Footy Legends' and an interview with its director, 2005's Young Australian of the Year and all-around top bloke Khoa Do. Just got off the phone with him an hour or so ago, he's a talented guy with loads of enthusiasm; just an absolute inspiration.

Off to revel in the Brisbane Festival and see the Boat People tonight... then Kate Miller-Heidke on Annabel's birthday on Wednesday! Yay for birthdays!

'My Super Ex-Girlfriend' Review

This is fun.

That may seem like a no-brainer. Movies are supposed to be fun, aren’t they? It should be a given that a movie will entertain you, but it really isn’t. Occasionally, a movie like ‘My Super Ex-Girlfriend’ should be praised for being exactly what it sets out to be: fun.

There is a simple premise here: boy (Luke Wilson) meets girl (Uma Thurman), girl turns out to be a slightly insane super-heroine, and all hell breaks loose as said insane girl proceeds to make ‘The Break-Up’ look like ‘An Affair to Remember.’ The necessary wallpaper is thrown in too, of course- Anna Farris plays the girl of Wilson’s dreams, Rainn Wilson plays his sleazy best friend and Eddie Izzard is criminally underused as Uma’s arch-nemesis- but basically, this film takes one fun concept and runs with it, making the most of comedic set pieces that lesser directors would kill for.

‘My Super Ex-Girlfriend’ isn’t trying to set you up for a sequel, it’s not trying to cast its lead character as the messiah, it’s not mining any obscure subtext and it’s damn sure not going to win any Oscars. This isn’t ‘that kind’ of movie. This is the director of ‘Stripes’, ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Kindergarten Cop’ having fun with Luke Wilson, Uma Thurman and a projectile shark, and as far as throwaway entertainment goes, it goes a long way.

'My Super Ex-Girlfriend' is now showing.

'Half Light' Review

This film reviews itself. Literally.

Early on in this ‘film’, and I use that word tentatively, a failed novelist receives a rejection letter informing him that his book is “insufficiently mysterious for a mystery, and insufficiently thrilling for a thriller.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself, so I won’t. In a nutshell: Demi Moore’s career continues its sad decline, she sees dead people, good guys win, audiences lose.
And we’re done here.

'Half Light' is now showing.

'16 Blocks' Review

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers, Bruce Willis is back to something approaching his badass best in Richard Donner’s ‘16 Blocks’.

Willis is Detective Jack Mosley, a boozing, balding member of New York’s Finest. Not exactly a glamorous role, but certainly a perfect platform for badassery, as he escorts semi-retarded prisoner Eddie Bunker (Mos Def) from jail to court. It’s only 16 blocks away, but some bad folks don’t want them to make it, and… oh, you can tell for yourself what’s going to happen here.

The inevitable urban warzone our heroes find themselves in gives director Richard Donner (‘Lethal Weapon’) a chance to shine, as he squeezes every possible drop of tension from the proceedings. This comeback to the director’s chair adds to a big year for the Donner family- his ‘70s flicks ‘The Omen’ and ‘Superman’ were given the remake/sequel treatment, his wife produced ‘X3’, and Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx wish they were as cool as Riggs and Murtaugh. Or something.

Funnily enough, this film is at its best when it sticks to what it does best: Bruce Willis shooting and getting shot at. Attempts to tackle heavier topics- police corruption, alcoholism, the question of humanity’s potential for redemption- are admirable, but ill-advised. Nobody is going to see this to gain a better understanding of the human condition, after all. Donner also can’t help but work in a bit of his trademark schmaltz, but not enough to ruin the film, luckily.

If you enjoy the collective works of Mr. Willis, then you’ll enjoy this latest addition to his oeuvre. If you’re not a fan… well, this is awkward.

'16 Blocks' is now showing.

'Solo' Act

Actor. Musician. Writer. Director. Raconteur. There’s a number of strings in the bow of Morgan O’Neill, Australia’s first winner of Foxtel’s ‘Project Greenlight’, but it was going to take more than archery to make a good flick with his $1 million prize money. For starters, he’d need actors willing to work for award wages…

“Colin Friels invited me round to his place, and the script was sitting on his desk. And it was so well-thumbed, the notes were highlighted in red pen and black pen, and I thought, ‘this is going very well.’ And he said, ‘mate, I love the script, but I can’t do it.’ And I said, ‘mate, to be perfectly honest, I never really thought that you would. Its award wages, and I’m a complete unknown…’, and he said ‘oh, it’s nothing to do with that. I just don’t want to play a crooked cop, I’ve played a crooked cop too many times.’ And I said, ‘oh, oh, we might have our wires crossed, that’s Vince Colosimo, I wanted you to play (main character) Barrett!’ So he said, ‘well, fuck, I’ll do it!’”

With Friels and Colosimo onboard, talented NIDA graduate O’Neill- who has an enthusiastic zeal both for his film and the medium in general, and lists his influences as Scorsese, Tarantino, Ritchie and Eastwood- had only 21 days to shoot his ocker noir, and came across his fair share of obstacles along the way.

“We were constantly coming up against the fact that we didn’t have enough money to do what we needed to do. But I think that actually translated positively to the screen… we had to take a step back and say, ‘is it crucial to the story that we blow up a house? Yes, I think it is.’ So how do we go about doing that without blowing up a house, which would cost a quarter of a million dollars, which is a quarter of our budget? We used something called a Non-Invasive Organic Dust Fireball. When the special effects guy told me about that, I said, I don’t care what that is, let’s use it, it sounds cool!”

Project Greenlight’s investors have nothing to worry about. Rarely have one million cinematic dollars been so well spent.

'Solo' is now showing.

'Solo' Review

Occasionally a movie comes along that you know, as a ‘critic’, is not a great film, and yet you can’t help but recommend it. ‘Solo’, from first-time director Morgan O’Neill, is one of those films.

The winner of Project Greenlight, a Foxtel show which gives $1 million to a budding filmmaker to make a movie from their winning script (the show originated in the US as an invention of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck), ‘Solo’ is the definition of a crowd pleaser. It’s got everything you’d want from a cops-and-gangsters flick: guns, broads, bullets and booze, a generous dash of jazz and as an added bonus, a decent helping of Colin Friels. Friels plays Barrett, a standover man, who- of course- wants out, and- you guessed it- has to finish off that elusive one last job.

Now, I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty decent way to spend two hours to me. Surprisingly, Friels isn’t totally convincing as the hard mob enforcer: his attempts to seem menacing occasionally produce an unintentional laugh, especially during seemingly solemn flashbacks to his long haired days as a rookie enforcer, but his performance does suggest the depth essential to his character. Vince Colosimo has a swaggering brilliance as a corrupt cop, and Bojana Novakovic straddles the required line between annoyance and believability as a meddling uni student. Perhaps most importantly, the film looks great, and you’d swear it had cost more than $1 million to produce.

So, yes. A thoroughly decent way to spend two hours. It also feels like a way that you’ve spent two hours many, many times before. But hell, it’s all about that one last time, isn’t it?

'Solo' is now showing.

'Beyond the Sea' Review

Who knew? Who knew Kevin Spacey had it in him to write, direct and perform in a neo-classic Hollywood musical? Well, anyone who followed his theatre career, I guess, but I didn’t, so allow me this moment of surprise.

This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s a lovably bizarre mess of a movie that revels in the sheer magic of movies and entertainment in general. It’s the sort of movie where you can burst into technicolour song in the middle of a busy street on a crowded day and have everyone sing along. If that sounds too cheesy to you, exit stage right. But if you’re a lover of pop-corn, you’ll find this confection impossible to resist.

Spacey plays pop/rock/jazz singer and Oscar-nominated actor Bobby Darrin with a gusto that reeks of his love for the classic entertainer. The fact that Spacey has such a devotion to Darrin- essentially a large blip on the cultural radar- as opposed to a traditional icon like Sinatra or Presley is a big part of the movie’s charm.

The film only hits one bad note, for mine: for all his talent, Spacey is simply a little too old to play the part. Sure, “memories are like moonbeams”, but that doesn’t make the sight of Kevin Spacey kissing Kate Bosworth any less creepy.

Regardless, this film is a worthy tribute to a time that probably never existed; the inevitable human flaws that got in the way; and the inherent beauty in those flaws.

Rohan Williams

‘Beyond the Sea’ is now showing.

Super-Subcultures

Since this blog was originally created to study subcultures (yeah, I know... I don't know what happened with that either), I figured I should link to this great post over at Random Panels. What subcultures do fictional characters fall into? If we were to drop by Fictional Character High School, who would be sitting with whom? The groupings seem fairly accurate... Conan is a metalhead, for example. The theory runs into problems because of the whole secret identity motif: is Superboy a nerd or a jock?

It's a fun post, and the subcultural confusion caused by Superboy's secret identity reminded me of the brouhaha over The Advocate's (woefully incorrect, but interesting) interpretation of the subtext of Superman, which in turn reminded me of a Slate article about the apparent homosexual overtones in He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Which in turn reminded me of this...

... which is pretty much the best thing ever.

Incidentally, the Slate article's observations regarding Prince Adam's "fabulous secret powers" are neither here nor there, but it's dead-on about how important those sorts of cartoons were to kids in the '80s. Even now that we can recognise them as the crass marketing exercises that they were, it's hard not to hold a soft spot for them.

Snakes On An Aussie

We've been promoting the near-legendary 'Snakes On A Plane' for awhile at Scene Magazine, and today I interviewed Australian actor Nathan Phillips ('Wolf Creek'), who plays one of two FBI agents in the film. Sam Motherfuckin' Jackson plays the other, of course. I'm not going to post it here for fear of breaking some sort of media embargo, but pick up Scene closer to the film's release date for the full SOAP story. Hooray for shameless promotion!

I found it interesting that Nathan had pretty much missed the whole SOAP phenomenon, since he's been travelling around the world and hasn't been on the internet much since filming wrapped. That makes one of the film's leading actors one of the only people in the world to be blissfully (relatively) unaware of the SOAP legend, which is kinda amusing.

Anyhoo, if you're keen to see the film (come on... you know you are)
drop a line in the comments section and I'll hook you up with tickets to the Scene Presents SOAP screening next month.

Pornstache

First off, apologies to anyone who was attracted to this entry by the promise of hardcore porn. There won't be any here, unless you count the link at the end. But we'll get to that.

Those who know me know that I am well known for my beard. Over the last year and a bit, this impenatrable fortress of facial hair and my generously flowing locks have become veritable trademarks of mine.

Well, no more! In what can only be described as an act of 'extreme hairdressing', I am now rocking a new and equally amusing style, bestowed upon me by two drunkards with scissors and a razor.

Oh yes, my friends. Traditional hair removal techniques are for women. Real men accept drunken offers/challenges from their friends to let them give you a pornstache at 4 o'clock in the morning. Fortunately, Jared and Josh were up to the mighty task that stood before them. Jared, in particular, may have a professional hairdressing future ahead of him. Sure, upon viewing the many videos and photos that Josh took of the event, it became apparent that I may be lucky to still have two ears and an unslit throat, but by God, who knows what he could have done if he was sober. And just look how excited he was!

Who was I to deny him the fun of holding a razor to my throat while intoxicated? I mean, it's not like he looks crazy or anything. Believe it or not, Jared took to his task with delicate skill, using the electric razor to come up with the shape he wanted without leaving a scratch. Josh then convinced Jared that a close shave was in order...

"You are familiar with the meaning of the word foreboding? As in badness is about to happen, right now?"
And yet, with all the odds and a lot of rum stacked up against us, Jared came through again, removing most of the unsightly stubble, again without a scratch. I mean, damn, I could never even avoid a (more than) occasional nick when I was sober. Well done, J-Rad. From here, they decided something had to be done about my hair. At this point, I looked to the heavens for guidance...

... And the heavens told me that the worst that could happen was a funny story. Which, at first, is exactly what happened. Behold, their early attempts at styling the hair, in photos aptly and succinctly described by Jared as 'gay hair' and 'fag hair':

Fortunately, the boys weren't done yet. As amusing as it was that these new styles made me look kinda like some sort of anime character, it was decided they simply took too much attention away from the focus of the exercise: the pornstache. Here, then, is the highly sensual finished product.

For the record, the inspiration for the pornstache challenge was the 'Miami Vice' teaser trailer. The end result moved a fair way away from that, into a unique pool-cleaning vision all it's own. Of course, once you have been blessed with the facial hair of a '70s porn star, there's only one thing to do with it. Myspace users are advised to have a look at this.

See? I promised you hardcore porn, and I delivered. "I vas not expecting anyvun!"

You may ask yourself at this point, "but how does the pornstache make you feel? What words could possibly convey the majesty of the feeling of the fantastic follicles that lay before my eyes?"
Tell 'em, He-Man.

The Forgotten

It's no secret round these parts that I loved me some 'Superman Returns'. It had it all: top-notch plot, acting, direction and score; subtle themes perfectly realised. And yet, many critics of the film, particularly amongst the snarky blogosphere, have been left underwhelmed. Some outright hated it. To comics fans who didn't embrace the movie, I have this to say: it could have been a lot worse. Here, then, is the first in a possible series of terrible superhero adaptations from the past.

This, found (of course) on Youtube, is a clip from a pilot for a Justice League TV show that, funnily enough, never aired. I'm only going to show you 36 seconds worth, because it has been scientifically proven that any more than that would make your head explode. And, you know, I couldn't find the rest.


Briefly...
-Apparently, Fire is down with the Prodigy.
-I'm fairly certain they forgot to paint David Ogden Stiers' neck green. Or he's just wearing a mask. Or something. Either way, I think we can agree... it's just wrong.
-Yes, Ice, the unaired Justice League pilot would be a fairly unlikely place to find heroes.

Don't Smoke, Kids

The following is a public service announcement from slacker Justice League members the Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. If you don't know who they are, then I can't really explain it for you quickly, aside from this: they're awesome.



Ahhh, the wonders of youtube...